


Dichotomy

by gekosnoot



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Brotherly Bonding, Brothers, College, Coming Out, Family Drama, LGBTQ Themes, More characters will be tagged when they're introduced, Multi, Slow Burn, University, rated T for curse words
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:48:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24081589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gekosnoot/pseuds/gekosnoot
Summary: Lars and Jules are twin brothers. Everyone always compared them when they were little. It caused a huge rift in their relationship, which put a huge strain on the family. When Matthew comes around and befriends them both, it might give them the opportunity to reconcile. Turns out that Matthew is struggling as well.
Relationships: Canada/Netherlands (Hetalia)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	1. BUD

**Author's Note:**

> _According to Wiktionary:_
> 
> **Dichotomy \dī-ˈkä-tə-mē\ (noun)**  
>  **1:** Such a division involving apparently incompatible or opposite principles; a duality  
>  **2:** _Biology_. Division and subdivision; bifurcation, as of a stem of a plant or a vein of the body into two parts as it proceeds from its origin; often successive.

_According to Merriam-Webster:_

**Bud \ˈbəd\ (noun)**  
**1:** a small lateral or terminal protuberance on the stem of a plant that may develop into a flower, leaf, or shoot  
**2:** something not yet mature or at full development: such as  
**a :** an incompletely opened flower  
**b :** child, youth

####  July 3rd 2016

The sun was very harsh today.  
Temperatures had reached around 40 °C. Stepping outside from the cool, air conditioned airport lobby into the scorching heat was terrible. For a country that was known for having moderate summers, the sun was very unforgiving. Sweat formed on Matthew's forehead after only standing outside for a few minutes. He had been inside the airport, stretching his legs, grabbing a bite to eat and strolling through some of the shops. Then his friend had texted him a string of apologies for being late.

It wasn't that big of a deal. Michelle worked part time as a server and had been unable to take the afternoon off. She had to work until 3:15 in the afternoon, while Matthew got off his flight at 2:15. She had apologized so many times for not being able wait for him at arrivals and assured him that she would be there by 4 PM. However, traffic had delayed her arrival by 25 minutes.

He was sweating buckets while looking around. Buses, shuttles and taxis filled the drive ways in front of the airport. People were bustling. They dragged their large pieces of luggage with them. Matthew had a large trunk filled with mostly clothes and some valuables that he couldn't afford to leave behind in Ohio.

Suddenly he saw someone walking towards him fast. It was a girl with dark brown hair that flowed off her shoulders and reached her stomach. She seemed exhausted, but had a pep in her step. She was wearing blue jeans and a crop top that was a soft baby blue. She immediately went in for an embrace.

“Matthew! I hope you haven't been waiting outside for very long.” she said.

He held her tightly. “Oh, don't worry about it, Michelle. I've been standing here for maybe three minutes. I don't think it would have mattered how long I waited, the sun would burn me regardless” he replied. He let her go and fanned himself with a map of Amsterdam that he had snatched from one of the tourist information stands. Michelle laughed and held out her hands. “Let me carry your smaller bags! You must be exhausted.” she insisted. Matthew gladly gave her his backpack and laptop bag. She turned around and gestured for him to follow her.

“I decided to park the car away from the airport since traffic is a nightmare around these parts. We have to take some public transportation, but I think this will be a great learning opportunity for you.” Matthew followed his friend into a shuttle which went to the city center of Amsterdam. After putting the bags on a huge trolley and pushing through the small crowd to snatch two seats, they fell into an easy conversation.

They talked about Matthew's journey. He had a one and a half hour flight from Columbus to Chicago, where he had a short layover. Then he had an 8 hour flight to the Netherlands. It wasn't too bad, but he didn't sleep a lot. On the 8 hour flight he was sitting in the middle row of the aircraft on one of the outer seats. The other seats were occupied by two kids and their mother.

Thankfully they weren't loud, but they would need to get up multiple times almost every hour. Matthew had to move multiple times to let one of the kids go to the bathroom. The kid sitting next to him also spilled their drink on him, much to his annoyance. He watched 3 movies and spend the rest of the time listening to some Spotify playlists that he had saved beforehand. At the end of the flight he was beyond exhausted and very ticked off.

Michelle listened very attentively and cracked a few jokes about the things that occurred. Matthew had gotten annoyed again while recounting his experience. She rubbed his arm to comfort him when he complained and was able to calm him down. She always knew what to say to be supportive and kind. She had been Matthew's best friend for close to 9 years now. They met online when he was in middle school.

They both loved to play neopets and had discovered each other on an independent forum where they shared images of their pets. They had exchanged e-mails and became quick friends. After talking for around 5 years Michelle visited him in Ohio. Ever since that moment they had been closer than ever. This time it was Matthew that had come to the Netherlands. However, he would be going to university and living with Michelle, instead of just visiting. He had thought over this choice for a few years. He had even saved up for nearly 3 years so he could afford to move and settle into the European country.

The shuttle came to a halt at one of the public squares in the city. Matthew struggled to pull his heavy suitcase out of the shuttle. He was somewhat flustered by the amount of people walking around. His anxiety flared up until Michelle softly rubbed his shoulder in comfort. They walked towards a bus stop and sat down on the bench. Michelle dug around in her pocket, pulled out her wallet and handed Matthew a blue, reflective and glittery card. “This will be your pass for public transportation. It's the coveted OV chip card” she said. Matthew looked over the card held onto it carefully. A few minutes later their bus arrived. The two got in, checked in with their chip cards and sat down. They chatted again for a bit.

15 minutes later they got out at their stop. Michelle helped Matthew get off the bus with his giant suit case. She then led Matthew to a parking lot near a building.  
“Here is my car” she announced, digging around in her pocket for her keys. She unlocked the vehicle and helped Matthew put his suitcase and other belongings in the back. They got into the car and were finally on their way to Utrecht, which is where Michelle lived.

They didn't really talk. Michelle could tell that he was tired, so she left him alone. She had to focus on the road anyway. Matthew put his head against the window for the majority of the car ride. He saw large grass fields filled with grazing cows, sheep and the occasional horses. It lulled him into a nap.

~~

Matthew found himself waking up to his shoulder being shook. Michelle had gotten out of the passenger seat and opened the door on his side. “Hey sleepyhead. I put your stuff up to your room. Ready to go inside?” she asked. Matthew rubbed his eyes and sat up properly.

“My neck hurts.” he said groggily. He pushed himself out of the car and walked past his friend. She closed and locked the car door. “Want to eat? Floor just texted me that she finished cooking.” she said, walking next to Matthew.

“Hm, Maybe a little bit. I'm very sleepy and don't want to eat too much before I go to bed.” he sighed, while stretching his arms. She smiled at him. “Just say hi to Floor, take a small bite of her food and say that whatever you just ate was amazing. You'll make a good impression and she'll love you.” Michelle said. Matthew nodded. “Is her cooking...” he trailed off, not finishing his sentence in fear of the possibility that Floor might be able to hear them. “It's not bad, but, you know how dutch people cook...” she said while looking away. Matthew giggled.

They entered the house and suddenly a strong smell hit Matthew. It wasn't unpleasant, though. It was very distinctive, familiar even. He couldn't put his finger on it, though. Michelle saw him sniffing the air in question.

“Floor made erwtensoep. What the fuck.” she said. “It's July! It's way too warm for a heavy soup like that.” she continued. She walked from the hall into the living room, greeting her housemate very loudly in lively dutch.

“Floor, waarom de fuck heb je erwtensoep gemaakt?” Michelle asked.  
“Nou, is lekker toch?” she said shrugging her shoulders. She was setting the table and made sure to include an extra plate and bowl for the new resident, who was standing at the door and watching them talk. Matthew didn't really understand their Dutch squabble. It was to be expected from a foreigner like him. He was half French, half American. However, for all intents and purposes he was an American. He had lived in Columbus all his life.

He did learn to speak french, but only out of an interest of learning a language, not because he wanted to get in touch with his roots or whatever. He snapped out of his thoughts when the pungent smell of erwtensoep was triumphed by the aroma of fresh bread. Floor walked in with a cutting board that had some cut up bread. She also had a tub of what was presumably a topping for the bread. Matthew wanted to sit down, but was waiting a bit nervously for a cue from the other two. He logically knew that he was going to live in this very house with these very people, but he still felt like a guest. He was just a stranger; pretty much a complete outsider.

“Come on, sit down Matt. Can I call you that? We have sooo much to talk about and catch up on.” Floor gushed excitedly. She patted one of the chairs. Matthew shyly snuck into the seat and eyed the bread eagerly. Michelle took the seat next to him. Floor left the room to get the pot of soup.

Michelle saw her best friend stare. She snorted. “I thought you weren't very hungry.”  
Matthew crossed his arms in defense.“Nuh uh, I said I didn't want to eat before sleeping. I never said that I wasn't hungry.” he looked at his friend. She smirked. “Fair enough.”

Floor came back with a large pot and the smell of spices and smoked meat hit him with full force. She sat in a chair opposite to Matthew and Michelle. She excitedly rubbed her hands together, hungrily looking at the bread. “This is our little appetizer. I got it from the bakery down the street not even an hour ago. It's such a good place to get some fresh buns, Matt. Try these out!' she urged. Matt took a piece and bit into it. The texture was very soft. It tasted really good. He proceeded to open the little container which had 'roomkaas' in it. Apparently that was cream cheese.

“It's good.” Matthew sighed. Floor beamed. “I'll show you the bakery” she said.  
“Thank you.” he answered, continuing with his slice. Floor looked at him intently. “Why did you decide to study linguistics?” she asked. Matthew paused for a moment. Startled by the sudden question.

“Uh... I like languages.” he said, a bit awkwardly. Floor rolled her eyes. “Yeah, okay. But why did you choose to study language itself instead of, I don't know, a specific language?”

Matthew thought for a moment. “Languages... are rich with historical and cultural content and looking at languages as a whole says a lot about humans in general... and I just think that the different ways we have constructed languages is interesting...” he said, looking down in slight embarrassment. He felt very dorky while talking about this. He wasn't super knowledgeable yet on language. He had taught himself two languages: French and Spanish. He has also taken several classes on others. Floor looked like she was pondering. “You know what? I think that's fair. I study Dutch and I know that doing so has taught me a lot about our culture, so I get what you're saying.”

Matthew and Floor fell into a comfortable conversation about their languages. Michelle listened to them and mostly stayed quiet. She was glad to see her two friends getting along.

~~

Despite his best efforts, Matthew couldn't resist finishing a huge bowl of the soup. This 'erwtensoep' turned out to be a pea soup, made of those green split peas. He was familiar with it since it was a dish that the Canadian part family would make sometimes.

However, this version had sliced pieces of smoked sausage tossed in and used different spices. The dutch called the sausage 'rookworst' and apparently they were very fond of it. They also called the soup dish itself 'snert', which made Matthew giggle.

His language loving brain made sure to remember all the new terms he encountered.

Currently, Matthew was flopped onto his new bed, which was made by Michelle the day before. He had just brushed his teeth and unpacked all of his clothes. It was 9 PM and the exhaustion was finally starting to set in heavily. Anxiety creeped up on him for a moment in an effort to halt his slumber. What had he gotten himself into? Did he make a good impression on Floor? Would Michelle start regretting letting him stay here?

Thankfully, before he could ponder further about these questions he actually fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Character guide:
> 
> Lars is the Netherlands  
> Jules is Luxembourg  
> Floor is Nyo!Netherlands  
> Michelle is Seychelles
> 
> I will introduce Jules, Lars and the others in the upcoming chapters! Thank you for reading and leave all the feedback you like. :)
> 
> Translation of the dutch dialogue:  
> "Floor, waarom de fuck heb je erwtensoep gemaakt?" = "Floor, why the fuck did you make pea soup?"  
> "Nou, is lekker toch?" = "It's good, isn't it?" (note that this is loosely translated and doesn't catch the sarcasm in the dialogue well)


	2. DISSECTED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any dialogue that is italicized is actually in dutch! Sometimes I'll directly write it in dutch if the context calls for it.

_According to dictionary.com:_

**Dissected \dɪˈsɛk tɪd, daɪ\ (adjective)**  
**1:** _Botany._ Deeply divided into numerous segments, as a leaf.  
**2:** _Physical Geography._ Separated, by erosion, into many closely spaced crevices or gorges, as the surface of a plateau.

#### September 27th 2016

  
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

A hand crept out from under a navy blue blanket and quickly searched for the off button on the incessant alarm clock. Jules gently pressed the button and partially threw his blanket off. His eyes were still closed, but he had definitely been awoken by the loud beeping.

He groaned and rolled to the other side of the bed in an attempt to bask in the last traces of sleep before opening his eyes. He stretched his body in several exaggerated poses before rolling over to face the nightstand to the right of his bed. He grabbed his phone and checked the time on the cellular device.

07:36

He carefully put the phone back on his nightstand. He then flew out of bed and opened up his stark white closet. The racks were full of hangers with shirts, pants and sweaters. A small section was dedicated to outfits he would pre-plan. He grabbed one of them: a tri-coloured sweater and a pair of washed out jeans. He draped the outfit over his arm and closed the closet door. He swiftly grabbed a fluffy red towel and was out of the door, on his way to take a shower. After 30 minutes of occupying the bathroom, he reemerged feeling like a million bucks. He strutted back to his room, grabbing the last of his things: his phone, messenger bag, wallet, keys and beanie. He plopped the soft chestnut coloured beanie on his head and went out to the kitchen

For the first time that day he saw one of his housemates. It was a new person that had just moved in. Jules would be lying if he said that he knew her name. She glanced up at him and immediately looked away and continued eating her breakfast. Jules waved awkwardly “ _Hi._ ” She looked at him again. “ _Hey._ ” She then went back to basically ignoring him.

Well, that was uncomfortable. Unfortunately, this wasn't the first time this had happened.

He opened the fridge to grab a tub of greek yogurt and some assorted berries. He sat down at the other end of the pearly white table and began to assemble his meal. After a while of eating and mindlessly scrolling on his phone, he finished breakfast and washed the dishes he had just used. After 10 minutes of double checking his bag and a quick bathroom run, he finally closed the front door of his house. The sounds of traffic cut the tension that the overwhelming silence had left on Jules. He let out a somewhat relieved sigh. It was time to go to school.

~~

Jules had a bit of a thing for making lists. His planner was completely colour coded. Sticky notes adorned almost every single page as he would regularly run out of space to write things. As he crossed out items from today's to do list, he glanced at his planning for today. Two lectures, a meeting for a group project and hanging out with some friends.

He was halfway through the project meeting.

As an architectural engineering student he had to do a fair amount of group projects. They were all building assignments which involved making 3d models and mock-ups of the finished product, along with a paper explaining the whole designing process. Admittedly, he wasn't paying very good attention at the moment. However, he had checked out the google drive document with all of the information that his group mate was currently explaining. He ended up with a understanding it on his own just fine, so he didn't feel too bad about not listening.

He could somewhat hear that his friend was talking passionately about his part of the project. He was actually one of the guys that he was going to hang out with after the meeting. His name was Gilbert. He was half German and half Dutch. The young man had ghostly white hair and very striking red eyes. Gilbert swore that they were natural, but no one believed him. Despite how eccentric he looked and acted, it became apparent that he was an engineering genius. He was also a surprisingly nice person. Jules took a while to warm up to him, but they ended up becoming close friends.

“ _....and does anyone have any other questions?_ ” Gilbert asked.

Jules finally tuned in again to what was going on. The other people were nodding and taking additional notes on the things they didn't understand yet. A girl in their group sheepishly thanked Gilbert for the explanation he had just given. He showed her his amazingly pearly whites and assured her that it was no problem.

“ _Then I declare this project meeting over! I'll see ya'll later!_ ” he said, basking in his self appointed role as the project leader. Everyone gathered their stuff and left the table. Jules grabbed his planner and writing tools and dumped them into his messenger bag. Gilbert tapped him on the shoulder. “ _No offense dude, but, you seem very out of it. I hope you weren't confused by what I explained_ ” Gilbert said, looking at him very seriously while crossing his arms. He was slightly annoyed that Jules had paid very little attention.

Jules rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. Nothing got past his friend's keen eye. “ _Ah, no. Don't worry. I actually painstakingly went through the google doc. I understand everything. Sorry if I seemed distracted there._ ” Gilbert patted him on the back. “ _I know you're smart, so I'll trust your word._ ” Jules smiled at him. “ _Ready to hang out now? I've just been in a bit of a drag today. I can tell you more about it if you let me?_ ”

Gilbert gave him a thumbs up. “ _Of course, dude._ ”

~~

Jules and Gilbert ended up sitting on the terrace of a café which was filled with a bunch of other students. Jules was nursing a glass of diet coke and his friend had a pint of beer. As Jules promised, he was venting about what was bothering him so much.

“ _So, you just hate living in that house?_ ” Gilbert said, taking a sip of freshly tapped beer. “ _Yeah, it really sucks there. I just want to move out._ ” Jules sighed. This wasn't the first time he talked about it, but it was something that had been becoming harder and harder to ignore.

“ _How long is your lease?_ ” the German asked.

“ _One year._ ” Jules replied. His friend looked thoughtful. “ _That's not that bad, is it?_ ” he asked. Jules' shoulders slumped. “ _You would think that, but I have been looking for a place to move into for the last 5 months and haven't found anything._ ” Gilbert let out a soft oof. “ _That's rough, dude._ ”

“ _Yeah. I've asked people to keep a look out, but I haven't heard a lot. The house viewings I've gone to haven't resulted in anything either.”_

Gilbert downed some more beer. He looked at his despairing friend and offered a very sincere smile. “ _You'll get a new place somewhere, just keep looking. I swear that as soon as someone moves out of my house, I will make sure that you can move right in._ ”

“ _Yeah, that's all I can do and thank you, that means a lot to me._ ” Jules said, feeling at least a little better after venting.

After some mood lifting banter and another glass of beer for Gilbert, a new presence made itself known to the table. A tall, blonde bespectacled guy was looming over the two friends. His blue jacket was thrown onto the chair that the two students had kept available for their large friend.

“Berwald!” Jules shouted excitedly. He was happy to see his classmate and Gilbert seemed to mirror his excitement. Their conversation shifted into English, to accommodate their friend. “Hey big guy.” the German said, holding his hand up to order another beer. “Sorry I'm late. Study session went on later than expected.” he said while taking his seat. A waiter came to check on Gilbert and Berwald also ordered a beer.

Berwald was from Sweden, he had come to the Netherlands so that he could be with his boyfriend Tino as well as study civil engineering. All three of the friends shared a lot of classes together. They met each other during the introduction week of their school. It took a while for Jules to warm up to both of them. Gilbert is abrasive, cocky and reckless, while Berwald was stoic, intimidating and very hard to talk to.

A camping trip was a yearly tradition for their faculty during the introduction. All the incoming students would spend 3 days in the outdoors with tents, camp fires and rivers. It was highly anticipated by the older students while the fresh faced high school students had mixed reactions. From scared to excited to unimpressed. The camping trip was a mostly drunken, cold but fun blur to Jules and it gave him the opportunity to get to know his fellow students, especially Gilbert and Berwald. Jules felt a bit sentimental after remembering all this. He really felt lucky to have friends like them.

The three friends spend a few more hours drinking and talking about their day and gossiping a little. When the sky started turning a brilliant orange, Jules realised that it was getting close to 21:00.

“I hate to say this, but it's getting late...” he trailed off. Gilbert pouted a little. “Aw man, don't leave yet!” he begged. “Sorry, I want to sleep at a reasonable time, guys.” Jules said. He grabbed his jacket and got up to pay his tab. Berwald nodded. “Bye.” the Swede said, putting up his hand to wave. Gilbert was busy downing his 6th or so beer. Jules waved at his friends and left right after paying his bill.

~~

Jules almost dreaded going home. The satisfaction and warmth of seeing his friends seemed to melt away when he entered the decently sized house. It wasn't a bad place to live in by any means. It had been renovated 4 years prior, so everything was brand new. The living room had beautiful wooden floors, stark white furniture and a huge flat screen television. The kitchen was amazing as well. The floor had slightly off white tiles and the counter tops had a beautiful marbled surface. The appliances were all brand new and high tech. The kitchen was pretty much kept spotless as well. Their house had a rotating cleaning schedule. Jules really appreciated the fact that everyone followed it.

However, despite all this...

His housemates weren't very friendly or keen on being socially involved with him and each other. It was kind of upsetting to him. He had counted on living with friends and had hoped that eventually he would befriend at least a few people in his house. He had been living there for around seven months and had completely given up all hope that it would ever happen. So much for his 'home sweet home'.

When he started his studies, he still lived at home. He would travel to Tilburg from Goes every single day. Even though traveling for about an hour wasn't that bad, it was exhausting to squeeze himself onto those busy trains every single morning and evening. However, he could still hang out with some of his friends that decided to stay in Goes. He also regularly visited his grandparents. After spending a year and a half still living in Goes, he found a place to move into in Tilburg. He was so excited to finally be able to settle there. Sadly, he was very disappointed. Between his new place being a drag and having really bad homesickness, he really didn't know whether he regretted his decision or not.

He really did miss Goes now. Things just seemed to be simpler before he moved out of his parents' house. He also really loved Tilburg, his friends, his school and the people he lived with. Despite missing his parents he also really hated the thought of moving back home.

He was social. He loved togetherness. He loved having a cup of coffee with his family when he lived with them. He loved closeness. He hated being ignored or disregarded. His friends were so good to him, but coming home to a cold and unwelcoming house was awful.

Jules hugged his pillow tightly. These feelings were so stupid. He just had to tough his lease out and leave. Why did it make him feel so bad?

He just wished he could feel at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely happy with how this turned out. I wrote and rewrote this chapter multiple times because I wasn't entirely sure what to put in it. Don't worry, though! Actual plot is coming  
> 
> 
> Character guide:
> 
> Jules is Luxembourg  
> Gilbert is Prussia  
> Berwald is Sweden  
> Tino is Finland


	3. ABORT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took a while! I was kind of stuck, but now I got the ball rolling again!

_According to wiktionary.org:_

**Abort \ə-bôrt′\ (verb)**  
**1:** _Transitive, intransitive._ To cause a premature termination of (a fetus); to end a pregnancy before term.  
**2:** _Intransitive._ To stop or fail at something in the preliminary stages.  
**3:** _Intransitive, biology._ To become checked in normal development, so as either to remain rudimentary or shrink away wholly; to cease organic growth before maturation; to become sterile.

#### October 11th 2016

A young, man with dirty blond hair and a fair complexion was sitting down on patch of dirty, wet grass. His name was Lars. He was surrounded by a muddy coloured mess of fallen leaves, branches and dirt. The little grassy clearing was in a huge nature park that he visited often. The ground was damp and mushy. It wasn't very nice to sit in, but he didn't care. The environment was peaceful; a perfect place for Lars to empty his mind for a while. He decided to lie down to try and relax his tense muscles.

He looked at a patch of grass near a little puddle. There was a slug that was slowly making its way through the dirt. It was probably looking for some suitable leaves to feast on, Lars thought absently. He turned his attention to a different patch of muddy grass for a while, staring at nothing in particular. A sudden movement startled Lars. It was well camouflaged in the grass, but he had definitely seen it. It was a snake! The long serpentine body was moving slowly through the fallen foliage. Suddenly, its head peaked out. That's when Lars realised what he was looking at... a _hazelworm*_. Lars had read about the legless lizard before in some herpetology books. This was the first time that he saw one in real life.

The lizard was slithering through the dirt and Lars noted that it was getting closer to the slug he had been looking at earlier. The slug was happily feasting on some decaying plants, unaware of its impending doom. The _hazelworm_ slowly got closer to the mollusk, ready to make its move...

Lars recalls catching salamanders as a child. His family home had some ponds in the surrounding area. Amphibians could be found there in all stages of metamorphosis . He occasionally even found them hiding in the soil after a thunderstorm. Salamanders were slippery and cold and Lars liked the feeling of holding and squishing them. He never intended to hurt them, but now that he looked back he was painfully aware that he might have harmed them. He kind of grimaces at the thought now. He would get yelled at by his mother to leave the wildlife alone all the time. Lars just loved being in nature as opposed to just being a spectator. Places like this nature trail were his favourite. If something bothered him, he would leave the bustling city he lived in and just spend a few hours in solitude.

He may not have the urge to catch and poke at wild life anymore like he used to but he loves coming as close as he can to observe any creature. Once upon a time he really wanted to become wild life photographer. However, he isn't very handy with cameras or doesn't really have an eye for what makes a good photograph in the first place. Photos that were overexposed, blurry images and uninteresting compositions shot down his dreams of ever getting onto the cover of National Geographic. Oh well. He actually ended up being way more interested in plants than animals. Plant breeding and genetic modification were topics that were interesting. He may have decided to leave animals alone, but plants were fair game to him. Perhaps he would not rip off the leaves from bushes or dig into tree bark to see what was in it like he did when he was a child, but he could take a way, way closer look into the individual cells and the DNA that they had. That was his dream, which is what brought him to his current predicament... his study choices.

Because he had decided to pursue a computer science degree.

Maybe it was the allure of a well paying job and a secure future. Maybe it was the fact that he was pretty competent at mathematics, or that he already taught himself some basic programming when he was a teenager. Maybe it was the thought that he would go into that field after finishing this degree. Maybe it was the impressive campus, the excited faculty representatives and the seemingly cozy environment of the science department. As a fresh faced junior in high school his jaw almost dropped when he first saw the university in Utrecht at a campus tour. He was impressed by the buildings of the science department. It was a far cry from his small high school back in Goes. He immediately wanted to enroll into this university. It almost seemed like a dream. He applied as soon as the applications for the next school year were open. After graduating high school he was accepted into the computer science program of his school without any issues.

His first year flew by. Lectures, tutorials, group projects... It was all so different from high school, but, in a good way. No more complaining from teachers or annoying and immature class mates. No more punishments for being late to class or leaving school property. The first classes were all introductory and easy to get into. The advanced material wasn't easy, but the solutions were always a quick google search away. There was plenty of material to practice with, mock exams and many contact hours with the tutors. However, he had actually started struggling in his second semester. Luckily, he was able to pass his first year just fine. In his second, and current, year he had been given permission to follow an extra course and he chose an introductory course to biotechnology. He had never been as invested in any courses before. It was like the light bulb in his brain finally flickered on. He had been bored. He had been so bored in all of his other courses.

He wasn't so sure about his original plan to pursue this degree first anymore. The theoretical stuff would almost bore him to tears. He also failed a few of his last courses. This meant that he probably had to spend another additional semester retaking them. He had been so keen on getting this particular degree, that he failed to realise that maybe this whole computer science thing just wasn't for him. He was starting to struggle with motivating himself to study for most of his retakes, let alone his current classes.

He wanted to leave. He wanted to pursue biology. Biotechnology sounded good, but anything biology related would probably be better than this.

The _hazelworm_ had attacked the slug and was devouring it. Lars let out a deep sigh and looked up. Clouds were gathering and the sky was turning ominously grey. He did not want to stick around for the rain that was bound to come. The wind had turned crisp. The cold sneaked into his shirt and tickled his skin. He was covered in goosebumps. He was mentally tuned into the world again. He looked at the digital smart watch which adorned his right wrist.

16:23

He had skipped his last lecture of the day again. He had become so disinterested in everything that it didn't even phase him anymore. He got off the floor and picked up his scarf, jacket and Fjällräven backpack. He took a last deep breath as he was about to leave his safe haven and go back into the city. His bike had been left behind near some bushes near the clearing where he sat. Thankfully, no one had taken it. He biked himself out of the nature park and back to his house again.

~~

After a 50 minute bike ride he was back at his place again. He shared a house with 3 other dudes. They were all students at his university. Lars was barely done hanging up his jacket when one of his housemates came barreling into the hallway. “Hey Lars! Where have you been, brother?” said the energetic man. He had very tanned skin and dark brown hair, which was tied into a short pony tail. Camilo was an exchange student from Portugal. He was studying business administration at the university in Utrecht.

Lars waved his hand and greeted him curtly. “I had to do some thinking.” he said, strolling into the living room and plopping himself onto the slightly beat up couch. Camilo sat down next to Lars and leaned into the couch. “You went to a nature park again?” he asked. Lars shrugged “Yeah.” he grabbed his phone out of his pocket and looked if any messages had been missed during his mental retreat. He had a message from someone in his data structures course asking him if he had last year's exam.

“People need to check blackboard for shit like this. Just because I already had this course last year doesn't mean that I'm a fucking walking resource page.” Lars hissed in annoyance, texting something similar to his classmate. Camilo chuckled, amused at the dutch man's colourful language. “I know, right? I swear, some people would struggle to even find the homepage of google” Lars scoffed “You would hope that a bunch of information students could navigate a god damn web page”

“Information students?” Camilo asked, slightly confused. Lars scratched his head “Fuck, I mean, uh, Information... digital... science... compu- Computer science!” he nearly shouted.

  
“Ha ha, sorry, I forgot the English name for a second. We just call it _Informatica_.” Lars added. The dark haired man nodded in understanding. He then leaned over and looked at Lars excitedly. “I'm going out tonight, want to come with me?” Camilo asked, looking at the dutch man in anticipation. Lars shook his head. “Nah man, I'm exhausted. I'm gonna heat up some leftover lasagna and go to bed. Have fun, though”

Camilo stuck out his tongue. “Ay, you're no fun! I'm going girl hunting tonight. Maybe a pretty lady will make you a happy man on this lonely friday night?” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Not a chance. A passing grade would make me a man happy this semester. So, I am going to read some slides while I eat and then go to bed.”

The dark haired man shrugged his shoulders. “Whatever, suit yourself.” he got up and left. Lars stayed on the couch for a while, unwilling to move from his comfortable spot. The growl of his stomach finally motivated him to get up and actually heat up some food. He took a generous slice of lasagna and nuked it inside of their microwave-oven.

Lars took his meal and went upstairs to his room. It was a decent sized space with a bunch of windows, which provided plenty of light for the little army of plants that were invading most of the room. One corner had a bunch of boxes that were full of stuff. He may have moved in at the beginning of his first year, but he still never found the chance to unpack everything. He sat down at his comfortable desk chair and started up his desktop PC. He stared at his screen for a few minutes. He really did not want to look through those slides, but knew that if he kept doing this he would fall behind in all his classes. He begrudgingly pulled up his internet browser and logged in on Blackboard. He pulled up the slides from the lecture he missed, as well as a pdf version of the book for his course.

He then noticed that a new assignment was added on the course page. He realised with a start that it was probably the 'big assignment' for that course. It would account for 50% of his grade. He was so not ready nor willing to take it on. The slides were very basic and the chapter they were at in the book was a particularly difficult one he remembered. He started shifting uncomfortably in his sheet. His chest tightened up as his throat started burning up a little. The bright white light of his monitor bit into his eyes as his vision started to blur.

That's when he realised that he was in tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more rambling. I promise that it's only so you can get to know the characters. All the main characters are pretty much introduced now.
> 
> *Hazelworm is the dutch name for slowworms. They're a species of legless lizards that are in some place in the Netherlands. 
> 
> Character guide:  
> Lars is the Netherlands  
> Camilo is Portugal


End file.
